EMDR Therapy: Why It Feels Intimidating and How It Works
So, your therapist just brought up EMDR, and now you’re feeling a little skeptical. Maybe you nodded along like you knew what it was, only to Google “Is EMDR hypnosis?” later. (It’s not.) Or maybe the phrase eye movements threw you off, and now you're picturing your therapist waving a pocket watch in front of your face, whispering about your childhood. (Also not happening.)
Skeptical? Confused? Just generally ??? That’s totally normal. A lot of people feel apprehensive about EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) before they actually experience it. And to be fair, it does sound a little strange at first. But here’s the thing: it works exceptionally well, especially for people who feel stuck in patterns of anxiety, trauma responses, and negative self-beliefs.
So let’s break it down. What actually happens in EMDR, why your therapist might be recommending it, and why it’s not some weird, woo-woo experiment but actually one of the most well-researched and effective trauma therapies out there.
Why You Might Be Apprehensive About EMDR (And Why That’s Completely Normal)
1. “Wait… you want me to follow your fingers with my eyes? How is that therapy?”
Fair question. It does seem odd that something as simple as eye movements (or tapping or sound cues) could help with trauma. But it works because of how your brain processes memory. More on that in a second.
2. “I don’t want to relive my worst experiences.”
I hear you. 2. Good news: that’s not what EMDR is about. Unlike traditional talk therapy, where you might spend a lot of time analyzing and unpacking trauma, EMDR focuses on how those memories are stored in your brain and body. You don’t have to go into every detail. Instead, we work on helping your brain finally process and move forward.
3. “I don’t want to cry in front of you for an hour straight.”
Look, no therapist is judging you for crying (we literally encourage it), but EMDR isn’t just about bringing up painful emotions for the sake of it. The goal isn’t to dredge up the past for the sake of it; it’s to resolve the emotions that are keeping you stuck. Yes, it can get emotional at times, because it IS emotional, but the point is relief, not just rehashing old wounds.
4. “What if it doesn’t work for me?”
This is a valid concern as no therapy is one-size-fits-all, but EMDR is one of the most well-researched and effective treatments for trauma, PTSD, anxiety, and even things like body image issues and self-esteem. If other approaches haven’t quite helped, it’s absolutely worth considering. If it doesn't end up being helpful, that is not because you aren’t right for EMDR, it’s that EMDR isn’t right for you. Something else will be, and your therapist is here to walk with you until you find it.
So… What Is EMDR, Actually?
Think of your brain like a filing cabinet. When something overwhelming or traumatic happens, instead of neatly filing the memory away, your brain just shoves it into a drawer, all crumpled up. Then, whenever something reminds you of that event (even subconsciously), your brain pulls out the wrinkled-up mess and replays it like it’s happening right now.
EMDR helps your brain reprocess those memories so they actually get stored properly. It’s like smoothing out the crumpled paper, reading it in a calmer state, and then filing it where it belongs so it stays in the past instead of hijacking your present.
This happens through bilateral stimulation (eye movements, tapping, or sound cues), which activates both sides of your brain. It’s similar to what happens during REM sleep, when your brain naturally processes emotions and experiences. EMDR essentially helps rewire your response to painful memories, so they lose their emotional charge.
What an EMDR Session Actually Looks Like
It’s not all that different from regular therapy, but with a bit more structure. Here’s what to expect in a nutshell:
We prep. We talk about what you want to work on and make sure you have tools to stay grounded. No deep trauma work happens without safety and support in place.
We identify the memory. You choose a specific experience (or belief about yourself) that still feels “charged,” and we explore how it shows up emotionally and physically.
We start reprocessing. You focus on the memory while following a moving light, tapping rhythmically, or listening to alternating tones. Your brain does the heavy lifting — you just notice what comes up without trying to control it.
Things shift. Over time, the emotional intensity starts to fade. A distressing belief like “I am not safe” might shift to “That was then, and I am safe now.”
We wrap up. We check in, make sure you feel grounded, and integrate what came up. And yes, we’ll remind you to drink water and do something soothing afterward.
But Does EMDR Actually Work?
Yes. EMDR has been extensively studied and is one of the most evidence-based treatments for PTSD and trauma-related issues. But it’s not just for PTSD—it also helps with:
Anxiety and panic attacks
Depression
Phobias and fears
Grief and loss
Eating disorders and body image struggles
Negative self-beliefs (“I’m not good enough,” “I don’t deserve happiness,” “I’m undesirable,” etc.)
Basically, if something from your past keeps interfering with your present — whether it’s a major trauma or a series of smaller, chronic wounds — EMDR can help your brain finally put it in the “processed and no longer running my life” category where it belongs.
Final Thoughts: Should You Try EMDR?
If you’re feeling stuck and traditional therapy hasn’t helped you shift in the way you want, EMDR is worth considering. Yes, it can feel weird at first, and no, it’s not a magic cure, but it’s an incredibly powerful tool for rewiring how your brain holds onto painful experiences so you can actually move forward instead of circling down the same emotional drain.
Still skeptical? That’s okay. The best way to know if EMDR is right for you is to talk it through with a therapist you trust (hi, nice to meet you). You don’t have to jump in headfirst. We can start slow, answer your questions, and make sure it feels like the right fit. Also, you have complete control in that we can stop at any time. Saying yes to trying something does not mean you are beholden to seeing it through.
