Healing Your Relationship with Food: A HAES Approach to Disordered Eating

Let’s be real. Food and body image are complicated. From a young age, we’re bombarded with messages about what we should eat, what our bodies should look like, and how our worth is tied to all of it. Enter the Health at Every Size (HAES)® approach, a game-changer in how we heal our relationship with food, body, and self.

If you’ve struggled with disordered eating, chronic dieting, binge eating, or an eating disorder, you’re not alone and it’s not your fault. The HAES framework invites us to break free from harmful food rules and embrace an approach to eating that prioritizes well-being over weight.

So, What Is HAES?

Health at Every Size (HAES) is a weight-inclusive, evidence-based approach that rejects the idea that weight determines health. Instead, HAES focuses on body respect, intuitive eating, and joyful movement rather than restriction, shame, and diet culture.

When it comes to healing from disordered eating, HAES gives us permission to: ✔ Eat in a way that honors hunger, satisfaction, and nourishment—not guilt.
✔ Reject unrealistic body standards and reclaim body trust.
✔ Engage in movement that feels good instead of punishment-driven workouts.
✔ Challenge internalized fatphobia and the belief that weight loss is the answer to everything.

Common Signs of Disordered Eating (That Diet Culture Normalizes)

Diet culture loves to disguise disordered eating as "wellness." Here are some signs that your relationship with food might need some TLC: ❌ Skipping meals or severely restricting certain food groups.
❌ Feeling out of control when eating “forbidden” foods.
❌ Using exercise as a way to “earn” or “burn off” food.
❌ Feeling guilt or shame after eating.
❌ Letting the scale determine your mood for the day.
❌ Weight cycling (aka the "yo-yo dieting" rollercoaster).

How to Approach Healing from a HAES Perspective

If you’re tired of the restrict-binge-guilt-repeat cycle, here’s how you can start healing from a HAES-alignedperspective:

1. Give Diet Culture the Boot

Recognize that diet culture profits from keeping us obsessed with weight loss and disconnected from our bodies. Healing starts when we stop treating our bodies like projects and start treating them like home.

2. Ditch the Food Morality

Food is not “good” or “bad”—it’s just food. The more we label food as “junk” or “bad,” the more we create a cycle of restriction and guilt. Instead, approach eating with curiosity, self-compassion, and flexibility.

3. Listen to Your Body (Even If It Feels Hard at First)

If you've been dieting for years, hunger and fullness cues might feel unreliable. That’s okay! Start small—check in before and after meals, notice how certain foods make you feel, and trust that your body knows what it needs.

4. Focus on How You Feel, Not Just How You Look

Healing from disordered eating is about building a sustainable, joyful relationship with food and movement—not chasing an aesthetic ideal. Ask yourself: What makes me feel energized? What brings me joy? (Hint: It’s probably not endless calorie counting.)

5. Seek Support from HAES-Aligned Providers

Not all healthcare professionals understand or support a HAES perspective. Finding a weight-inclusive therapist, dietitian, or doctor can make a huge difference in your healing journey.

Real Talk: You Deserve Food Freedom

Healing your relationship with food doesn’t mean you’ll wake up tomorrow loving every inch of yourself or never struggling again. But it does mean you can start unlearning harmful messages, listening to your body, and moving toward a life where food isn’t a source of stress or shame.

Because the truth is? Your worth was never measured in pounds, calories, or jean sizes.

You deserve nourishment. You deserve freedom. And no, skipping the cookie won’t get you there.